4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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