So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
