true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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