and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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