I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
