Just cropdusted the office
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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