I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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