I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
