I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize