whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
