Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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