I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
