And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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