My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
