I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
