he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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