Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just cropdusted the office
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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