He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
