you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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