Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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