I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize