i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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