My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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