Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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