this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
