For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
