Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I could fuck to npr.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
