I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
