what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
