As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
