I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you will always have a special place in my vag
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize