Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
