There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
