i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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