end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Randomize
