All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
