Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
