This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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