he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
