My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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