I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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