white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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