She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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