he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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