Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
