I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
