THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
