the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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