I just made out with a guy for $7.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
