kristin has been a bad kristin
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
