you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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