Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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