I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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