Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
