that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
