I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
