I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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