Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
