Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
