It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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