Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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