but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
