dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
