these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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