is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
