I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
