what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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