But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
