i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize