my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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