i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you win again, gameday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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